Carlin House
by Slapdash-Methods
Summary: 5 years had passed and time had changed everything. Now they had to decide whether it was for better or worse.
1. Chapter 1

All rights reserved to Tom Lynch.

It was difficult waking up. Opening her eyes and looking around at the disarray that has become her life; She refused to move from her cocoon of disillusion and regret. She had lost the one thing, no, the one person that she valued above herself. It was oddly humorous to think just yesterday at this time she wasn't alone, miserable, riddled with guilt, but happy and with _her..._

Shifting from her side to her back she took a deep breathe; It was caught in her throat as the pain throbbed again inside of her. Lifting herself up to a huddled position, she began to sob. The memories of last nights fatal argument resurfaced.

"You don't love me! Moving here was the biggest mistake we ever made. You've changed so much... And I think those changes aren't ones I can live with. I'm done waiting for you to realize what needed to be done", the words rang in her ears like a forlorn melody. Clenching on to her knotted hair and pulling with trembling hands. She began to scream.

When sound of her voice reached her ears, it shocked her. Primal, dejected, anger, and suffering bounced off every counter of the room; It was the first time she'd ever heard a purely wretched heart render such a song. Surely the neighbors could hear her howls of pain and loneliness through the walls.

The minutes pasted by without her knowing, and the only way she stopped rattling out loud is when the neighbor banged against the wall.

"Shut the fuck up or imma goin' to call the cops!", barked out a gruff voice. From her fetal position on the bed she lifted her head with hands still tangled, with her loud crying turning into body wrenching sobs.

The mirror situated at the end of the bed showed her what she just vocalized. Unsnarling her fingers from the nest that was now her hair she get commenced to trace the residual disaster of her make up. She took in the streaks of eye liner and mascara that ran with her tears, the reddish tone of her usually flawless skin, lip gloss smeared across her cheek and chin showing vile attempts of catching her tears from falling. She looked like shit. And there was no one to blame but herself. Pushing up on her arms, she swung her legs over the edge of the bed. Standing up on shaky legs and starting to shuffle towards the kitchen; Memories coursed through her mind like a dam breaking. She remembered when the made the decision to move up to Seattle was made. \

"It's going to be nerve-racking to be so far away from our friends and family."

"I know babe, but think of all the opportunities we'll have to further our life together", she breathed in her worried lover's ear.

"We'll have each other, and premium cell phone service. Plus there's always Skype."

The comment earned her a light slap on her arm, "You know if you weren't so good in bed, I'd leave you."

Responding with a chuckled, "Psh, like you could." She entwining her love into her arms, leaning down and capturing _her_ lips in a passionate kiss.

It seemed like it happened yesterday and not a year ago. She suddenly found that the kitchen was in front of her, and the need to eat was gone. Her eyes bounced around from the coffee machine, refrigerator, microwave, and finally settling on the photo stuck to cork board by the entry way. After they met it was always 'Spencer and Ashley' or 'Ashley and Spencer'. Kyla even coined the name 'Spashley' for them. She dragged her feet so she was in front of the offending photo; It showed the 'Spashley' that they once were.

They had all gone to eat after Chelsea announced her conclusion to go to Paris for art school. In the mist of everyone clambering to burn the last moments together into their memories, Spencer and Ashley slowed down. The photo, taken of course by Kyla, showed them wrapped up in their love. Spencer pushing away a offending lock of dyed hair back into it's place and Ashley held her glaze with a piercing stare. Sobs racked her body again. She ripped the photo from its place; Shredding it in half again and again, until the pieces showing nothing of the happy scene. Collapsing to the floor into a puddle of despair. She was cut short from wallowing again in self pitied rage.

The phone rang, bright and clear, cutting through the fog that started to form again in her mind.

She ignored it hoping whom ever it was would just leave her alone. After several rings it went to voice message which only caused more pain. "Hey this is the Carlin-Davies residence! Leave a message after the tone." The voice was _hers_ and it bore the knife into her heart more. A resounding beep came from the volatile machine.

" Pick the fuck up! I know you're there. We have to talk about the video for Carlin House and what happened last night. Ashley! Pick up, Spencer called me in a complete mess last night at 2am. Which, by the way, is 5am here! You bett..."

Swiftly picking up the phone Ashley answered it, "Kyla, can you please stop yelling?! What do you mean Spencer called you? Is she ok and where is she staying at?"

"She's torn in two. That's how she is! And you do not get the privilege of knowing where she is at", huffed out Kyla, "Why the fuck did you say that to her? Telling her that you don't like how she's changed. Ashley if anyone should understand it's you!"

Pressing her face into her hand, Ashley leaned on the counter. "Kyla, please stop yelling." The pleading and fatigue clear in her voice, "She's been out at all hours, rarely coming home, and when she is here all she speaks of is work! Also some chick named Gabriel... What woman is named Gabriel? It's a mans name."

Kyla clicked her tongue, "Spencer's name isn't exactly feminine either, and they're only friends. Probably because of the name deal."

There was a brief pause and Ashley moved to speak, but Kyla knew her sister. "Ashley, _she_ cried and broke down. Spencer was on the phone ranting about how she didn't understand what she was supposed to do."

"She was supposed to acknowledge that her work was tearing us apart... Spencer just needed to say that she realized all the time wasted couldn't be received, but that she was going to make a better effort to be around", sobbed Ashley. "All I ever wanted was for her to be in love with me again." Silence over took the conversation; Only Ashley's sobbing and Kyla's breathing to heard over the lines.

"I talked her down from her melt down. After that we spoke about everything, and she's willing to meet with you." Ashley could tell the words were chosen carefully, "Have no doubt the Spencer loves, no, _is _in love with you. The way things were handled last night by both of you was terrible."

"For you, her and _me._ I needs my sleep sista!" Kyla's joke fell on deaf ears. All she could think about was the ever building guilt of hurting Spencer. "Kyla" pleaded Ashley trying to cut everything short, "Let me call you back later. I'm going to shower and clear my head."

"Ashley. Call me back later. Ok" "Yes Kyla, I will. Bye." And with that Ashley hung up the phone with a sigh.

Stretching her sore muscles while she walked. Ashley moved towards the wine cabinet. Opening it and pulling out a red Malbec. Grabbing the wine opener and hastily popping the cork; Ashley took a undignified swig from the bottle.

"Here's to drowning the pain away." With that said, Ashley took on the hard task of forgetting the love of her life.


	2. Chapter 2

All rights reserved Tom Lynch.

Spencer didn't know what was more difficult in life. Deciding what your career was going to be or taking part of a relationship such as hers and Ashley's. And the computer monitor did nothing to help her in the quest of gain knowledge. Considering how dramatic her youth had been with her mother accepting her orientation, brother constantly battling the darkness of drug addiction, and her father trying to support the household while dealing with his wife's infidelity. She missed Clay; He always was a voice of reason, and even though it had been almost seven years since he passed. His voice was her conscience always trying to add balance in her turbulent life.

"How could everything lead to this? Think where did it go wrong Spencer?"

Hanging her head Spencer silently started to break down. Her face contorting in the effort not to do so, but her heart won the battle; The tightening in her chest continued.

There was bang of a door coming from the footage that she and her crew shot the other day.

"Reese where are you!" rushed out the actress while looking through the small decrepit apartment.

"I'm goin' to fuckin' kill you!" Out of the bathroom came out a hallowed out shell of a man once great.

"Monica. Calm down please... What's wrong babe?"

Spencer remembered when Sheldon had been cast. He was a hulking 6'5" with lean muscle, but the script called for 'Reese' to begin to use and wither away. First it was coke then it became anything he could afford in his small salary. The script called for a blank look on 'Reese's' face. But Sheldon had broken down, saying that when a personhurt the one they loved most they would feel the pain ten fold. It would cause the frail spirit to break into small pieces, and cry out of shame and suffering.

"How could you just spend all the money? Rent and utilities are paid babe! That's what you fuckin' said"

Spencer chuckled, Sarah had amazed in the audition and casting her was a great decision.

"Reese, look at you. The promises you made are worth shit! You'd said that drugs were gone from your life, and that we could finally chance it at normal life."

The sound of Spencer's sharp sob coincided with 'Reese's'. "I'm trying baby." 'Reese' gave a convincing plea; Using his hands to wipe the tears he continued, "It's the last time."

"Don't you dare give me that shit!" 'Monica' gave a hoarse puff of air. "Always the same! 'It's the last time! We'll have a better life starting tomorrow! I love you so much Monica, I'll do anything for you!' Well guess what _Reese_?" A pregnant pause ensued. Each of the actors looking at each other. One with apologetic guilt and the other seething with rage and indifference. It caused memories of last nights fight with Ashley to flash behind her now shut eyes. Spencer dug the heels of her palms into her eyes trying to fight back the headache forming. Removing her hands and opening her eyes a few moments later; Suddenly it wasn't film playing on the large monitor but her and Ashley's argument.

"I just don't understand what you mean. I have not been working _to _much!" Stuttered out Spencer while frantically waving her hands, "Ashley, you know that this film that we've been working on could make or break our careers."

"Stop _fucking_ lying to me Spencer, and more importantly to yourself. Ever since you _started_ working with that Gabriel you've been distant; Less of a girlfriend and more of a roommate." Ashley could almost feel steam coming from her ears, and all Spencer did was flounder trying to find an answer to appease her lover. "Look at _yourself._ Can't even answer because you _know_ what you've done was, is, wrong." replied Ashley while stalking closer to Spencer. She looked away trying to find help in the smiling faces of family and friends captured in photographs.

"You know I would _never_ make you decide between your career and me... But it has gotten there, it's been almost a year and a half since we moved here." Putting her hand on Spencer's turned cheek; Ashley forced her to look directly at her.

"I...I..." Spencer took a deep breath collecting herself, "Work has picked up Ashley. Look, I promise to leave the studio on time, actually make an effort so I'm home around a decent time, and be an active part of this relationship again." Ashley's face went blank, her arms crossed, she went silent, yet she knew better. Her lover was preparing for an assault. The ticking of the clock filled the room as if to say 'the bomb is now set and only seconds till it explodes.'

Spencer's eyes once again sprang around the room trying to find a solution or anything to help, and they found purchase on the photo of her and Ashley. It was when they began living together in L.A. Spencer's body moved, at its own accord, to settle in front of it. Trembling hands grasped the photo and lifted it from its perch on the wall; She could feel Ashley's eyes scorching a hole into her body. Spencer turned around still looking at the happy moment in 'Spashley's' history. Lifting her fingers to trace the past happiness then stopping mid stroke to only clasp the frame again in both hands. Finally Spencer lifted her head to glaze to her lovers scrutinizing eyes.

A voice came forth that was foreign to her ears.

"I love you." Ashley scoffed; Spencer moved forward "I love you Ashley so much. I have from the moment we spoke to one another in the gym," a sob racked her body "I know that I made promises and I will keep them. I know changed so much from a year ago but let me have another chance to prove to you, _please._" Her knuckles had turned white from clenching to the photo and Ashley's arms fell from their defensive position. Ashley's eyes pierced through her own and then the words that torn down her world came.

"You don't love me! Moving here was the biggest mistake we ever made. You've changed so much... And I think those changes aren't ones I can live with. I'm done waiting for you to realize what needs to be done."

Spencer's breathing became erratic. She started to hyperventilating, pain overtook every molecule in her body, and she didn't know what to do... The bang of the editing room door snapped her from the happenings of yesterday. "Spencer whencer! I bring the gift of caffeine and lemon filled gold from the land of Dunkin' Donuts!" It was her friend and cinematographer Gabriel, and she quickly noticed Spencer's heaving body. "Shit are you ok? What happened?" Gabriel turned the bag of donuts over the desk then handed the bag to Spencer who was now gasping for air. "Deep breaths girlie! In, out, one, two, one, two." Spencer could feel Gabe rubbing her back trying to help even her breathing. The two sat in quiet while she regained control, and after 10 or so minutes Spencer leaned back on her chair. Thankfully Gabriel didn't start to question what just transpired, but sat waiting, watching intently at the monitor now playing the last scene of the film.

"Why couldn't you just listen to me." 'Monica' gasped out as she stood over a freshly cover grave. "If you had we'd be together now. In bed holdin' each other till we'd have to get up to the demands of the world." Gabriel and Spencer watched captivated as 'Monica' dropped to her knees clenching to a small bundle.

"Now I have to go through life without you, in pain. To suffer in this journey called life with memories of you and now this baby. Reese, I love you so much." She moved the shawl covering the babies face to check if he was still asleep. Slowly 'Monica' stood trying not to jostle the sleeping baby, she turned walking towards a waiting car, then she stopped. Turned and said "Fuck you Reese. Fuck you for being so damn selfish."

Gabriel shifted forward and clicked the editor closed. She then turned to a teary eyed Spencer, "What went down Spencer? Where did all this pain from?" Moving her glaze from the backdrop of her and Ashley at El Matador beach to Gabriel's amber eyes.

"Ashley left me."


End file.
